the white racist homophobic christian ‘women should remain in the missionary position and have kids until it’s time for dinner’ neanderthal bloc (tf)

Still not sure who the republican nominee is going to be. Romney, Gingrich, and Santorum are still fighting it out, bloodying each other with the ghost of the Gipper while Obama sits back with popcorn and watches the show…making most of the points he’ll need to make later this year…….by not saying anything and allowing these guys to make asses out of themselves. If the President had these 3 clowns on his staff he couldn’t be positioned any better.

My dog threw-up behind the couch in my office….on the tile. It dried into a small green patch that I can’t get out even with a chisel. Santorum is kinda like dog-puke on your floor. The mainstream press just anoints whoever wins the latest state primary as the nominee (oh how I remember pre-scream Howard Dean on the cover of Time magazine…such innocent days were they…), and shanks the rest into oblivion. Then one of the others wins a primary….and the former front-runner is thrown into the scrap-heap. It’s a very funny follow-the-leader type thing that leaves the masses scratching our heads in confusion. Last week Gingrich was the rage. Now, Santorum is back in fashion (apparently he has some money left, even though less than 2 weeks ago it was reported he was stone broke. And…eee gadz….it’s even being reported that Rick “Brokeback” Perry is weighing jumping back into the fray). I can’t help but think that people who write about this stuff for a living are just trying to keep themselves amused. Perhaps desperate to avoid having to write something relevant about Mitt Romney, a man with the charisma of a garden hose. Being on the Romney press plane must be like the kid being assigned to write a report on Millard Fillmore at school.

Santorum is really playing up his “base”….that is, the white racist homophobic christian ‘women should remain in the missionary position and have kids until it’s time for dinner’ Neanderthal bloc. His gibberish is music to their ears. These folks are convinced it’s cheaper to have a kid than it is to buy a pack of condoms, so it’s not like he’s dealing with the Intelligentsia. Still, it’s hard for anybody with a modicum of common sense to think that Santorum is not absolutely batshit crazy, which of course neatly defines what it is I’m so worried about. These people are out there. They breed like rabbits. They pray and watch Fox and if you get in their way they’ll beat you like you stole something. And they vote. And they don’t want you to….especially if you’re…..you know….off-white.

I wish this whole thing was over really. You get the feeling the rest of the world is laughing at us. I get this feeling because I have a few friends who live in different countries and they are always calling and emailing me….to laugh at me. Some are obscenely healthy Canadians who love the rub the universal healthcare bit in my face. They don’t seem to wait in lines as much as we think they do. A few are Europeans who don’t take old men in robes and miter’s nearly as serious as Americans seem to. It’s very strange actually. We’re obsessing over birth control….birth control!…..while we pay our bills and bailout corporate criminals by borrowing from the Chinese. I’m staring at the ceiling wide-awake in the middle of the night wondering how I’m going to put my kids through college amidst all this financial carnage….and all the news channels can titter on about is ortho tri-cyclen lo. Sometimes I feel like the only sane person left in the room.

Surely in a country of 313,018,378 people, we can do better than this, no? Obama will win re-election. But how soon before sheer buffoonery turns off the middle of the road moderates (sorry folks, but anybody who thinks the President leans towards “socialism”…or is even “liberal” by definition, needs a history class.) for good, leaving the 2 political parties to host nothing but extremists? For my chair, Obama is way too status-quo. But at least he’s not stupid or insane. I’m not embarrassed to have him represent me to the rest of the world.

Say it slowly. P r e s i d e n t S a n t o r u m.

You should be terrified. I know I am.

(I found that 313,018,378 number here by the way. The next time you think a decent job is on the horizon, pull up that page and hit the refresh button a couple of times. That should drive a pike into your chest. With every mouse-click your chance of ever earning money without being forced to wear a name-tag decreases.)

–Tom Flannery

~ by admin on February 14, 2012.