See what I’m saying? (tf)

I like to write. Which means I still do it even if I don’t have a real clear idea of what I want to write about. I scribble things everywhere. Legal pads are a big favorite. The yellow ones. White legal pads just seem wrong. My first thought on seeing a white legal pad is….”why isn’t it yellow?”

I used to use those pocket-sized marble notebooks, but as you get to the bottom of the page it’s so small and your hand is so scrunched it’s almost impossible to write legibly. And for somebody who’s scrawl is barely legible under normal circumstances, this was causing big problems when the time came for deciphering. Plus, using a non-legal-pad type thing, you feel forced to write on the front and back. Not sure why that is. Nobody writes on the back of a legal pad sheet. I like the freedom of just flipping the page over the top….and being able to scribble stuff on the back after the fact without interrupting the flow of what I was trying to say in the first place. If all of this sounds inane….keep in mind that writers obsess over such things, which is why most people think writers are weirdos. And why we don’t get invited to many parties.

Well, Stevens gets invited to lots of parties but that’s not because he’s a writer. It’s because through his writing he’s become a TV star….which conveniently allows people to forget that he’s merely a writer with the ability to speak in front of a camera without making a complete dunce out of himself. No small feat that. Most folks at ease in front of the camera couldn’t write a coherent sentence if you spotted them the subject and the verb. On the other hand, writers are mostly pale, oddly dressed, haggard personages who perpetually look as if they’ve been awake for 48 hours. They are the type of people a camera runs screaming from. Stevens is an oddity. Make no mistake about that. But don’t let him convince you that he’s a “television guy” who just happens to write. When he says that even he starts to squirm…and he then immediately tries to change the subject…..blathering about his constantly-in-the-shop pick-up truck or the breathtaking  view from his office window at his incredibly secretive maniacally secured compound/farm. Ask him if he’d agree to go on TV and read the words written by a newly hired intern making $12 an hour. Then duck.

You see what I’m saying? (actually….what a stupid expression. of course you can’t see what anybody is saying…funny pages excepted of course..)

I was on TV once and my leg was shivering so much people thought I was either having a seizure or was being filmed in the midst of a mine subsidence. So that was pretty much that for me. TV scares me because when you know you’re being filmed you don’t act normal, and when you don’t know you’re being filmed everybody sees what “normal” is and they won’t let their kids play with your kids anymore.

So I’ll stick to writing. Even when I don’t have anything in particular to say. And as always, I’ll look forward to what Stevens has to say, because no matter what it is it sure is interesting because he says it so well.

–Tom Flannery

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~ by admin on November 21, 2011.

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