That guy with the name nobody can agree how to spell is dead…(tf)

Gaddafi is dead apparently. Not sure that’s how you spell his name. According the ABC there are 112 different ways to spell the guy’s name. I never really cared one way or another. Now that he’s dead I care even less. Not sure who got him or how, but I don’t think anybody not on his graft list really gives a toss. Things rarely end well for dictators. They seem strangely immune to history though. Even the ones who die natural deaths have to put up with their flacks standing around afraid to intervene as the boss gasps for breath. Poor Stalin had a stroke and pissed himself a bunch of times while his boys argued over who  was gonna call the doctor…..and then they had a near impossible time getting a doctor to agree to do anything when one was brought in. It’s one of the detriments of killing people who displease you. Often the safest thing for a boot-licker to do is to nothing….which is one of the reasons dictators always seem to preside over nation’s with completely dysfunctional infrastructures. Outside the palace walls of course.

I’ve tried to blot the Reagan years from my memory but I think the Gipper tried to take whatever his name is out a few times…..with a few well-placed warheads if I recall. Reagan missed but did send the Colonel (modest rank for a dictator, no?) scurrying back to his compound for a few decades. For a nano-second Gaddafi was public enemy number one in America….and then the torch was passed. I forget to whom. I drank a bit too much in those days. The details are hazy.

Dictators are like those boxers who hang around a few fights too long and end up all woozy in the head. What else can a boxer do but box? Not much….so they continue to allow themselves to get their brains juggled. What else can a dictator do but dictate? Not much…..so they keep pushing their people until even the most mild-mannered of the masses says, “you know what? I’m getting tired of all this crap. Where are my guns?” It may take a while, some marching and massive gatherings in public squares and the like, but the script is always the same. Dictator panics. Dictator threatens the army. The army panics. The army overreacts. The masses realize there is incredible strength in numbers and stand up to the army. The army, faced all of a sudden with a million people pissed off at them, switches sides. The dictator grabs his cash and his loyal bodyguards and gets the hell out of Dodge. Dodge is harder to survive in than the palace, however. Dictator is tracked down in something resembling a fox-hunt and some bloody unpleasantness occurs. Soon, everybody is switching sides.

Not sure American’s are in a position to preach about being governed badly. But still, I think I can say with confidence that we’d never succumb to a dictatorship. Even if we decided we wanted one, we’d never agree on the dictatorial details. Republicans would complain that not enough liberals were beheaded, and Democrats would complain that nobody read them their rights before they were tortured by the secret police. An American dictator might indeed be pitied by the rest of the world.

Such are the jewels of democracy my friends. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that as messed up as we are, we’re still better off than most.

–Tom Flannery

~ by admin on October 20, 2011.

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